I think about some people in my life who I’ve yet to forgive.
Whether it was something that blindsided me and left me wounded or it was just a misunderstanding that my pride refuses to clear up, I feel as if the poison of grudges run deep in my roots. Every single time I see these individuals, I realize that they’ll never know what I’m feeling and that each word and action that is displayed on their part is only emphasized to be at its worst because of my hurt. I make it worse for myself by putting on this extravagant show of being absolutely cool and collected with them, even adding in a bit of friendly interaction that may deter them from thinking anything was ever wrong.
Then I think about Him.
Then I think about Grace.
And I come to the conclusion that my stubborn soul doesn’t quite grasp it yet… and it’s saddening. If I really understood and had that “AHA!” moment with Grace, it would be a lot easier for me to examine these people I need to reconcile with and just love on them. Love them with my utmost, love them like He did. To be able to take that bold step of sitting down with them, having a conversation with them, perhaps even exchanging hugs or words of affirmation and closeness; all these things are pending and painfully stacking in my heart. Another thing that is pending in my heart… Freedom. A safe haven where I am rid of junk, of the poison, of any hold that anyone may have over me… the freedom to love openly, to give generously, to praise and live gloriously. All of these will fall into place with that first step — no, leap — of Grace. I have so much to learn about pursuing a Christ-like life that I almost fear that time is passing too quickly for me to satisfy this quench.
Grace surely is utterly Amazing. There’s no better word to portray it.